Monday, February 11, 2019

When it all goes wrong

This guide is to show Whitakers how to deal with a crisis when it all goes wrong.

These catch-all responses have been proved through extensive usage to be highly effective.

1. Procedures have changed since then
This implies that the you are so brilliant that you've sorted it all out. It  also distances you from the issue; "It's ancient history".

2. We need more staff
Turn the problem into a way of expanding your empire.

3. We need a new computer system
Everyone knows that, even when it's working correctly, a computer is never working correctly. Ergo, saying you need a new computer system shifts the blame onto the computers [not you]. Getting a new system will require more staff and money so, again. it's an opportunity to expand your empire.

x. We will learn from this
This should only be used as a last resort such as when there's been death. This is not an admission of guilt but implies some sort of contrition and fits neatly as an introduction into items 2 & 3.

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